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5 eCommerce Monsters and How to Kill Them

5 eCommerce Monsters and How to Kill Them

Careful, these monsters could eat your business alive.

It’s a spooky time of year. It’s dark. It’s cold. Shadows are long and things seem to slither and bump just out of the corner of your eye. And now it seems like your ecommerce site is haunted. Something’s wrong and this might be too big for even Ghostbusters to handle. First, let’s look at the rogues gallery of monsters plaguing your site and then how to dispatch them!

The Nameless One

This horrid being can’t be named. Why? Because this monster never creates an account, even when buying something. You have parts of its name, but not its full, true name (if you have a monster’s true name you gain complete power over it!). You can’t offer this monster a coupon, a deal, or even updates on an order. So how do you get rid of this monster? Make creating an account as simple as sending a text. Ask to confirm their delivery address via SMS. Then with that single piece of information offer to send coupons, offers, and updates on the status of their order. You might not have its one true name, but now you can summon it to you with an offer whenever you want.

Cart poltergeist

This ghost tosses items into its cart and then—poof—gone! The order isn’t completed! The items are left strewn about with no one left to guide them to checkout. Here’s how to make this specter much less scary. Reach out to it! Send an SMS with a reminder that there are abandoned items trapped in the ether between two worlds. All ghosts like a good deal, so throw in a time-limited discount or free shipping and this mischievous ghost will trouble you no longer!


The beastly wereshopper only comes out when the moon is just right. A wereshopper might still buy things during this time, but how do you get your furry friend to come more often. You can’t make the full moon happen twice a month—or can you? Entice a wereshopper back with special deals on a regular basis. Maybe a deal of the week or a blue moon sale? Even if your wereshopper still stays away until the full moon, you can tailor a monthly SMS to lure him into your store for flea collars, combs, and books on puppy training.


This terrible monster born from a nuclear accident will just stomp around aimlessly looking for something and not picking up anything. Or picking up a bunch of things then dropping them just as fast. The key to stopping Browsezilla is just talking to it. Really Browsezilla is just lonely and needs a little tour. Use live chat on your website or even Viber or Facebook Messenger to see if there is anything you can find for it. Maybe Browezilla just needs something nice to wear at the beach. You never know. So ask. Maybe after the dust settles you can send Browsezilla a survey by email or SMS to find out if there was something it was looking for and if you can help find it. Browsezilla isn’t really angry, just misunderstood.

Customer support vampire

Oh this monster is the most cunning. She is charming, charismatic, and seems so nice to help, but then your support person has looked into her eyes and has become enthralled. Hours pass, your customer support person’s time is being drained away and recruiting more of your agents to fall under the sway of this vampire! There isn’t a garlic pizza party in the world that can break you free of her grasp! Unless… Unless you unleash the power of 2-Way SMS for support! Vampires can’t enthrall someone who is helping other people too. With 2-Way SMS your agent can help the vampire and several other people at the same time! There is no way for the support vampire to drain a person’s time, your support agent can even dispatch a legion of chat bots to encumber the vampire and make her think she’s dealing with a live person. Ha! Foiled! Back to shopping and waiting for packages vampire!

These tricks are treats for you

While the monsters are made up, the problems they represent are absolutely real. Getting shoppers to create profiles, complete purchases, come back to shop, get help, and not bog customer support down are challenges all retailers face. Infobip is uniquely able to help you solve these problems with user segmenting, SMS, push notifications, email, and voice solutions that give you the upper hand on any ecommerce monster you might have to face.

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