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Title
Meetings are like dental hygiene: No one likes them, but delaying leads to bigger painĀ
Once, I believed in meeting magic: chasing the perfect formula from trends, books, and blogs. And I went even further, applying (for real) those ceremony tricks with great expectation.Ā Spoiler: I failed.

From Caribbean-Pirates-inspired Scrum boards (with cheap Island and ships drawn in a jpeg) to “Describe your Sprint with a movie gif” kind of challenges, nothing worked. Can you guess why?
Those ideas had something in common; aside from being dumb, they tried to hide the nature of the meeting: a boring, repetitive routine. And they also requiredāÆextra effort. But your colleagues, for the most part, are not stupid. They see what you are trying to do and think:āÆ“Man, it is Friday at 4 PM, and you are asking me to be creative. Are you nuts?”.Ā
So here is the first red pill of this article: Do not avoid the reality of how boring our repetitive ceremonies are. Embrace their nature: it is part of the job and needed.Ā
Now, is there a way to make them suckāÆless?Ā

When Less is More because Less is Less
For the sake of the argument, āÆlet’s go with these made-up formulas:
- Meeting efficiency = amount of agreement / timeāÆāÆĀ
- Meeting quality = acknowledgment of what was agreed / amount of agreements
See what I did there? I put a bull’s-eye on the two targets critical for the success of a meeting: the time spent and the agreement of the participants generated.Ā
It is now easy to understand why fancy new Agile trends or distracting and time-consuming additional complexities are not going to help. Simplicity helps. And so does going straight to the point.
But there is more to what a facilitator, the driver of the ceremony, can do to avoid the bumps of the road.āÆ
More is Less, too. Wait… what?
We all have complex tasks in our backlog: The never-ending XL specs and two-digit story points. But you never, ever, want to address those with a meeting marathon. What you actually want isāÆmoreāÆmeetings ā but make themāÆshorter.Ā
I could bore you to death talking about what short attention spans people have and how much better our brains perform when working hard but for short periods of time. I will tell you this instead: try it. Have three 30-minute meetings in three consecutive days instead of a single 90-minute meeting.āÆĀ
Whatever the nature of the meeting (decision-making or pure exposition, itāÆdoesn’t matter), you will be surprised by the result.
It justāÆworks.Ā
Go raw
All the tricks I’m talking about here can be combined, but this one specifically, and for obvious reasons, should only be applied with colleagues you know and without externals or customers on sight.Ā
It is an oversimplification of what the Japanese call “wearing different masks” and implies removing your “mask of correctness.” In a meeting, if you trust the others enough, there is no need for formalities or even an excess of politeness: you all just want to get sh*t done, so go informal all the way. It can be actively applied to concrete scenarios:Ā
- During brainstorming, when you don’t want other thoughts to interfere.
- It helps (correctly applied) with new or junior members who are refraining from saying what theyāÆreally think out of shyness.
As a general rule, and based on my empiric and scientific field research, the formalities of Agile are better replaced with the black and white of visceral feelings: “Tell me what made youāÆhappy, and tell me whatāÆp***ed you off. Now, what do youāÆwantāÆto do about it?“.
Setting up the mood
I am not talking about going to the extent of playing some chill music or lighting up some candles. Still, as a meeting facilitator and even as a participant, you need to break the ice accordingly:Ā
Is it too soon in the morning, and the caffeine has not kicked in yet?
Did we just come from lunch, and would everyone prefer a siesta instead?Ā Drop some jokes or add some memes when people would less expect it. If you think the price of a little fun time will earn your attention, go for it. Once the time is booked, any off-topic talk can become a team-building situation.Ā

Be water, my friend
As Bruce Lee wisely implies in his quote, the liquid form adapts to the container, and adaptation is a reaction that implies learning from circumstances.
We already mentioned that mood depends on the situation, but sometimes that’s not enough: you cannot change the participants’ personalities in a meeting.Ā
But you can guess those personalities and react to them for the benefit of the meeting.Ā
I will barely broach the topic of psychology, not because of a lack of interest but because of my ignorance; instead, I will offer an example of whatāÆbecoming waterāÆactually means:
Imagine there is a technical challenge ahead. Some team members are ironic, skeptical, ambiguous, or suspiciously quiet about it, but you need their agreement and commitment, and fast.
Instead of addressing them equally, try, for a better outcome, the most (respectful) inequality you can come up with when addressing them:Ā
- Asking aāÆquiet but emotionalāÆperson: “Your opinions are always useful <optional blink or tap in the back>. What’s your take on the topic?”
- Asking aāÆquiet but rationalāÆperson: “I think we need your brain on the topic. What do you think about it?”
- When theāÆknow-it-allāÆperson monopolizes the discussion, ignore them and ask the quiet ones: “What do you think about her/his opinion?”
- Asking someone with aāÆnegativist,āÆinflexibleāÆposition: “Did others succeed, and how? Leaving aside what’s bad, can you point out some good points?”
- Replying to a variant of the negativist, theāÆcomplainer: “Let’s be constructive: could you elaborate on how you would do it instead?”
- If someoneāÆtalks too muchāÆbutāÆsays tooāÆlittle: “Rephrase now with just a few words, please.”
Remember that the language used and the personas above are also liquid: they will respond to you responding to them.
It’s easier said than done, though. Look at this mess of arrows and interconnections between them:Ā

And finally, know when to stop
It is rare that doing homework before a meeting actually saves it from chaos. And for the most part, it makes sense: if preparations make a meeting an easy walk, perhaps that meeting was not truly needed to begin with.
What’s more probable is that, even with the best of your efforts, the ceremony will likely take a bad turn and reach what can be best described as aāÆtotal dead end.Ā
You know what I am talking about: the case when the arguments appear to enter a loop, and the parties just keep repeating themselves over and over. Sometimes, the stagnation can even be smelled in the room.
The solution? Stop. Not a single more word about it. The topic, perhaps the meeting as a whole, is better as postponed.Ā
Because there is no better move than knowing when to end.